She is 3 today:)
by Carol Yasin
October 27, 2013 – the day I couldn’t forget in my life. My first one in my womb was still born and doctors couldn’t identify the reason behind the loss! The next few months were very hard for us to accept the things that had happened in our life. As Job said, “He gives and take away”, I was not able to tell that from my heart!
More than that, it indulged a fear in me to get conceived again. I was in a dilemma – at one time, I would be like I need a baby and the next moment I would pray – “God, not again!”.
Day’s start rolling by and thanks to the fellowship which helped me to focus on God more than my problems. But, there were so many voices coming around and advising me what can be done. I was crushed when my mother in law and others asked me to go for a check up to find what is the problem in my body as they had a myth, if one is gone, the other is gonna come soon in 6 months time. I was asked by many to have a check up before trying for the second baby as there were no reason for the loss of the first one and they didn’t want that to happen again.
Further pushes from my in law and my mother, made me to consult a doctor whom my aunt suggested saying – she is a doctor of luck (kairasi doctor). Whoever goes to her get conceived in a month. I didn’t wish to go there but, I had to go there. And she gave me some tonic and asked me to come every week – I was so sick as I quit my office and was at home and was travelling for some ministry work and from there I need to come here at night – wait for her and go home. Meanwhile, I was praying that – “Lord, it was You Who made me and You know when to give me a child and I don’t want someone to take up the name.”
One week passed by. It was quite a normal day. I was in my mom’s place and as every other girl would be checking, my day has passed and I was thinking whether to consult my doctor or just let it go. Then I decided to stay without thinking about it for a day. I don’t want to get so much excited but, my instinct was telling me I have a gift during my birthday.
Yes, next day was my birthday and when I checked with the pregnancy kit, it was two pink lines and we confirmed it by rechecking with a doctor nearby. I was happy that I got conceived in a week after going to that doctor which means that it was purely by God’s grace and His time and not the medicines that was given by her.
My excitement lasted only for a week. I was asked to continue my pregnancy check up with that doctor which I didn’t wish to. From day 1, she didn’t behave like a gynacologist as she was saying everything wrong. But she frightened me saying- I might lose my baby again and hence need to be in bed rest fully. I was again praying to God – “I dont want to do my check ups with her. Please change my mother’s mind to go to another gynacologist ”
4 months really passed and when we went for my monthly check up, my mother was not satisfied with her sayings. So, we went to our regular doctor who happened to be a gynacologist but was on a maternity break. And there was a shocking twist we had – she said that the doctor which my aunt took me to was not a gynac at all. I was shocked but was happy that I never have to see her again.
My gynac herself suggested a hospital at Velachery, Chennai where she was trained. So, when I stepped into that hospital , I was so sure that – yes, this is the place, this is the place my baby will be born. Senior doctor herself voluntarily took my case as there was a prior challenge and I still remember the first words she told me – “Your little one comes from God! It was He who is sustaining You and we are just weapons, so just pray” and she also said that-“Never to be afraid of the previous pregnancy. Your baby is safe and do your work as usual and no bed rest needed. ” I felt so relieved.
During my eighth month, I started choosing names for my little one and googled every site to get a good name and I was so sure that It was gonna be a boy (Lol). So I chose only boy baby names and ignored girl names. During my eighth month check up, my gynac insisted that, we can induce pain before the due date as the baby was fully grown up and let us not take risk as we don’t know what happened last time. That was really a shock for me. She gave us time to consult with our family and decide. She also gave a date to get induced, if we are willing to.
After reaching home, again I started being on knees, praying that -Let your will alone be done. That was when, I realised that, it was gonna be a girl and not a boy and suddenly this name came into my mind ‘Dorit’ which means ‘a gift from God’ and ‘Tehillah’ which means ‘Praising God’. And God assured me that it would be a normal delivery. When the date suggested by my gynacologist came, I felt some pain already been started which I thought that is due to heat. My family came into conclusion that we can induce as doctor said and when we went to doctor she said that my dilation has already started. But, my pain was not continuous, whenever I get the pain, I would sleep the next minute out of tiredness and that continued for one day and finally the next day, my daughter came into this world on June 18, 2015. She came out hearing the song ‘Overcomer’ by Mandisa. That song helped me so much to overcome my fear and depression.
One thing I learnt was God does things amazingly in His time. And He gives the best for us and if something goes wrong, we are not to blame and question Him. He is sovereign and all powerful and no one can stop His plans that He have for us. But, we need to choose His way. The choice is ours to reach our destiny.
Never to be afraid of the past that had happened in your life. Because, when we come into Christ, we start a new life where He goes before us without looking into our past. He can change our past and give us a brand new start.
Today, our gift from God is turning 3 today and we would say , ” she is really a gift from God and we are to praise God daily for her.”